The cranky pot whiny monster

Beat the traffic, rein in the road rage, and finally get to my parent’s house to pick up my son.

Time check. If I leave here in 10 mins I’ll be home by 7.30pm then 30 minutes for dinner 15 minutes for bath 15 minutes story time and he’ll be asleep by 8.30 that makes it 10 hours of sleep before he wakes up at 6.30am and can catch the bus for school without being cranky all morning still not enough sleep for his age but can’t help that now that’s what it’s like having a working mom he better learn to deal with it…

“Hi Dad….DHRUVVV, come on get your shoes, let’s go!”

“NO.”

Deep breaths.

Dad’s voice floating in from behind the kitchen counter “You want a sandwich?”

“No thanks Dad. I got to rush. Come on sweetie. We have to go now. Dad, has he eaten? When did he eat last? You know he gets so cranky if he doesn’t eat……PUT ON YOUR SHOES DHRUV! ”

Whining and shoe finding drama in the background. Probably hungry.

“Really, Dad, I mean why can’t he just eat and be in a good mood. He won’t eat, then he gets cranky and doesn’t want to eat, but all the time he’s hungry and I’m trying to force him to eat so he’ll be in a better mood. Kids are just so illogical!”

A sandwich has appeared on the kitchen counter. I wolf it down. It has been 6 hours since lunch.

“I mean, seriously is it so hard to know that when you’re hungry? I mean I try to teach him this all the time – if you’re hungry, eat, and don’t be a cranky pot whiny monster.”

More whining and shoe finding drama in the background. Finally got all his stuff found his shoes checked his bag everything’s there its been more than 10 minutes now recalibrating he will sleep only by 9 now ruining everything sigh better prepare for a cranky morning.

“OK, bye Dad. Got to go and stuff the monster, he’s hungry and will be super whiny all the way home. Thanks for the sandwich!”

Apparently kids never do learn how to eat when they’re hungry and not be cranky pot whiny monsters.

 

The death of the intranet and the birth of (gasp!) the meme!

So it has officially been 12 years now that my love story with internal coms continues. And intranets in this story, being the backbone of internal coms, have been the ‘Coffee Day’ of frequent rendezvous in this analogy.

I think a little backstory is called for. My first internship was with i-Vista Solutions, and one of their first products was an intranet. I wrote the marketing content for it, sat with techies who patiently deconstructed the techspeak for the average arts student. My first job at ABB then had me spend massive amounts of time on CAWP – a Lotus Notes powered system of databases with a user interface that served as the intranet. Incidentally, when I came back to ABB 10 years later and saw my name under the pages ‘page created by Nandini Naik’, it felt akin to finding my star on the Hollywood walk of fame. At HP, I was part of an entire team that made updates to the intranet, for the whole of the company, worldwide. Clearly, they were already living in the future.

Then was Logica – when I fell head over heels in love with the intranet as the definitive internal coms solution. Swamped with the need to communicate to employees, give individual teams freedom to communicate, but maintain control over the messages and grammar (!), the intranet was my savior and my career launchpad. Over three migrations on various platforms, I evangelized intranet with zeal, marketed it as the win-win solution for everyone. As the responsibility of the organization, not the coms team. Had collaborative workshops with each team to understand what they wanted to say, how they could say it and what functionalities were best suited. Trained a network of ‘Intranet SPOCS’ who learned the tool, understood its value and then ran with it. It was the dream. The last migration to MOS gave us a world class, intuitive intranet that everyone was proud to own, not a tool that was part of the coms mandate. When Logica was acquired by CGI, final validation came from the fact that the intranet was the tool chosen in the integration discussions that would stay.

Now, back to the present. I met the founder of i-Vista riding a shuttle to catch a flight. They had moved away from their intranet product years ago. Hard to sell he said. I know. I ‘sold’ it internally for years.  Without a coms person crazed with evangelical zeal and armed with budgets pushing the decision from inside, it was a hard sell. Came back to ABB 12 years later, and still using CAWP, but in the process of migrating. Just saying, despite being passionately involved with intranets, I now go to LinkedIn to search for people within my own company. Met an ex-colleague who now works with a major lifestyle brand. They’ve just adopted Facebook@work. He says they only use intranet as a document repository now, and plan to communicate with employees only on FB. No need to train, evangelize, hard sell. Crowd-sourced content that can be moderated. Employee engagement at its best – through a truly social network.

Over a decade, is the writing on the wall? This love story seems right where it started, and destined to end where star-crossed lovers end up with all odds against them.

Reluctantly, I agree that Facebook is probably a better platform – easy to post, share, moderate information, balance of text, video and words, and let’s face it, fun. If you don’t have to force people to be there, that’s half the battle won. In my love story of internal coms, I must say, I have never imagined the meme rising up as an official mode of communication.

The times, they are a-changing.