I'm a working parent. I consciously did not say 'working mother'. Think about that. I did.
But back to the blog. Much of who I am at work influences who I am at home and vice versa. All in good ways. I recently finished this mother of all gyaan type exercise of making a plan, articulating objectives and rolling out KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) for myself and my team. And in my experience doing planning and strategy, one thing I've learnt is that you don't sweat the small stuff, but focus on the larger picture, and what's important. So it got me thinking about the KPIs of being a parent. What decisions do I want to make about what is important, that will influence all my actions for my son? Or in corporate terms..."What does success look like?" Surprising results on what I actually came to realise about what I really want to give my child.
- Confidence - that comes from knowing his parents believe in him, have his back, will keep him on track and give him direction to grow in by discovering his own strengths. I'm going to make him believe in himself.
- Laughter - strangely, laughter is learnt. No one is born with a sense of humour - it's completely acquired. I find Hugh Jackman and the Micromax ads absurd and hilarious. Whenever they come on, I'm tickled by the sheer randomness of it. The first time I saw that ad, I chuckled out loud and said, "It's Hugh Jackman!" in an unbelieving manner. My son laughs out loud now every time he sees the ad, saying "Huge akman!" every time he sees it. I'm going to teach him to laugh.
- Social Skills - I'm not social, and know this is my weakness. But I will do the social thing (cursing internally at lost personal time and space) and send him to sleepovers, have his cousins over, look the other way when grandparents give in to walking around and eating vs sitting at the table.... this means I don't get the final say on how to raise my child, or what he eats, yes. But it also means he learns about family, relationships, friends. He learns that different rules apply in different circumstances, but authority is to be respected.
- Curiosity - at work, many times I've extolled the value of always learning, doing new things, being open to new experiences. Anything that he's interested in, I'm going to show enthusiasm for, dig up youtube videos, talk trivia around it.....whether I like it or not. Thanks to the internet and smartphones, the time when kids find out their parents actually don't know it all is put off by a few years.
- Communication skills - I'm doing this the American way. Much as we scoff at "Use your words" in India, using words helps at every level - to sort through emotional stuff internally, to understand others, to negotiate, to rationalise.....words are my life, and will be his greatest tools.
- Nature and environmental consciousness - I grew up with nature, but it's scarcely found in today's Bangalore. I know this is going to be an effort, but an important one.
- Prayer - as an adult, I'm not sure about religion and God. But I do acknowledge the need to have a bigger picture, a conscience, and an ability to externalise problems, articulate them, and most importantly, to let go.
- That we're all people - because of my recent interest in driving diversity and inclusion, I've realized the importance of not subscribing to stereotypes. People may argue that they're necessary to fit in, and bring order to society, but I'm realising they're not. I didn't really get along well with other girls, but tried really hard to fit in, but eventually realized (late in life) it didn't matter. Everyone is a person, and that's it. Accept them as they are.
Those are my KPIs, and the rest as I say at work, is BAU (Business As Usual) - will be done, but only amounting to a 'meets expectations' rating, and I'm an overachiever.I want to do more, and better.
